Anyone instantly get a Beastie Boys song in your head when you saw the title of this post?
No?
Just me?
Right. I'm old. Let's carry on then.
I think it's finally safe to say that it's summer. Beautiful, warm summer. The time of year when you can leave your house with out a jacket. Some days that's risky business, others it's totally fine, but by and large the days of coats and socks and mitts and scarves are well and truly behind us.
For a few months, anyway. But I refuse to dwell on the negatives. Let's revel in the glory of this warmth, shall we?
So yes. We can walk out of our homes without having to layer up. Getting dressed in the morning takes fewer pieces of clothing. We even have less laundry to do overall as our clothing isn't as heavy. Or even as long - now it's about shorts and skirts and tshirts and light, flowy pieces.
Ahhhhh.
Our entire shoe wardrobe has changed, too. Now it's no longer about the need for a ridiculously thick tread to keep you upright as you penguin step your way across the ice from home to car to work, etc. It's all about comfort - and fashion! - via funky summer sandals.
Which brings me to the point of today's post.
Now that summer is, in fact, here, I humbly put out one simple request out to all those of the female persuasion.
Please. Pretty please with sugar on top. In the name of all that is holy (whether you believe in the holy or not).
Get a pedicure.
Yes, that's right. It is literally that simple. Go forth and get thine toes did. Preferably every 3-4 weeks during the summer months. K? Thanks.
Let's face it. Feet, even the prettiest of feet (I just puked a bit in my mouth even typing that - I detest feet), are gross. So I beseech thee to do everything within your power to reduce the funkiness of yours. ESPECIALLY if you embrace sandal weather and put them on display for all the world to see.
My 38 minute GO train ride becomes downright nasty if I have to repeatedly catch your snarl toes in my peripheral vision for the entire ride. Srsly. This morning's train ride precipitated this post as I was confronted with what can only be described as the gnarliest of feet snug in their white leather sandal homes. Try though I might to ignore them I couldn't. The woman to whom they belonged was sitting directly across from me and had her legs crossed, one narsty foot propped up on the opposing knee. Which was, consequently, directly in my sight line, just to the left of my phone where I was attempting to crush candy and ignore the urge to vomit that was rising deep within.
Sigh. Many a deep, cleansing breath was taken this morning. I finally had to put my phone away and attempt a nap. Any excuse to close my eyes and block out the image.
And fret not, I'll spare everyone a graphic representation of what I'm talking about. There's no way in HELL I was going to Google image gross summer feet.
Okay, so I may be exaggerating. Slightly. A wee bit. But come on, who amongst us can't say that they've done a 'bleargh!' when their eyes inadvertently lock on scaly heels? Or uneven toenails? All right out there, in the open, for everyone to see?!?!??
I realize, too, that regular pedicures aren't necessarily cheap. Generally they can run anywhere from $25 to crazytown dollar amount at the super expensive spas. And the reality is that you really do need to do it every three to four weeks as mentioned earlier to keep on top of things. Which can add up, especially when there are other expenses that must take priority.
In those cases I remind everyone that there are always at home options. A pumice stone, file and some polish can go a long way in making your feet presentable to the world for the summer months for a surprisingly low cost.
So please, ladies. Please. Whether you opt for the lower cost, DIY at home version or indulge every few weeks in a salon pedicure, please take care of your feet. Do it for yourself, of course, but think of all the pain and suffering you'll be preventing simply by keeping your tootsies summer fresh.
I thank you. Other women everywhere thank you. Even the universe at large thanks you. That's how big a deal this truly can be.
The universe, yo. If not for me, do it for the universe.
No?
Just me?
Right. I'm old. Let's carry on then.
I think it's finally safe to say that it's summer. Beautiful, warm summer. The time of year when you can leave your house with out a jacket. Some days that's risky business, others it's totally fine, but by and large the days of coats and socks and mitts and scarves are well and truly behind us.
For a few months, anyway. But I refuse to dwell on the negatives. Let's revel in the glory of this warmth, shall we?
So yes. We can walk out of our homes without having to layer up. Getting dressed in the morning takes fewer pieces of clothing. We even have less laundry to do overall as our clothing isn't as heavy. Or even as long - now it's about shorts and skirts and tshirts and light, flowy pieces.
Ahhhhh.
Our entire shoe wardrobe has changed, too. Now it's no longer about the need for a ridiculously thick tread to keep you upright as you penguin step your way across the ice from home to car to work, etc. It's all about comfort - and fashion! - via funky summer sandals.
Which brings me to the point of today's post.
Now that summer is, in fact, here, I humbly put out one simple request out to all those of the female persuasion.
Please. Pretty please with sugar on top. In the name of all that is holy (whether you believe in the holy or not).
Get a pedicure.
Yes, that's right. It is literally that simple. Go forth and get thine toes did. Preferably every 3-4 weeks during the summer months. K? Thanks.
Let's face it. Feet, even the prettiest of feet (I just puked a bit in my mouth even typing that - I detest feet), are gross. So I beseech thee to do everything within your power to reduce the funkiness of yours. ESPECIALLY if you embrace sandal weather and put them on display for all the world to see.
 |
| See? Pretty pedi. Orchids not required. |
My 38 minute GO train ride becomes downright nasty if I have to repeatedly catch your snarl toes in my peripheral vision for the entire ride. Srsly. This morning's train ride precipitated this post as I was confronted with what can only be described as the gnarliest of feet snug in their white leather sandal homes. Try though I might to ignore them I couldn't. The woman to whom they belonged was sitting directly across from me and had her legs crossed, one narsty foot propped up on the opposing knee. Which was, consequently, directly in my sight line, just to the left of my phone where I was attempting to crush candy and ignore the urge to vomit that was rising deep within.
Sigh. Many a deep, cleansing breath was taken this morning. I finally had to put my phone away and attempt a nap. Any excuse to close my eyes and block out the image.
And fret not, I'll spare everyone a graphic representation of what I'm talking about. There's no way in HELL I was going to Google image gross summer feet.
Okay, so I may be exaggerating. Slightly. A wee bit. But come on, who amongst us can't say that they've done a 'bleargh!' when their eyes inadvertently lock on scaly heels? Or uneven toenails? All right out there, in the open, for everyone to see?!?!??
I realize, too, that regular pedicures aren't necessarily cheap. Generally they can run anywhere from $25 to crazytown dollar amount at the super expensive spas. And the reality is that you really do need to do it every three to four weeks as mentioned earlier to keep on top of things. Which can add up, especially when there are other expenses that must take priority.
In those cases I remind everyone that there are always at home options. A pumice stone, file and some polish can go a long way in making your feet presentable to the world for the summer months for a surprisingly low cost.
So please, ladies. Please. Whether you opt for the lower cost, DIY at home version or indulge every few weeks in a salon pedicure, please take care of your feet. Do it for yourself, of course, but think of all the pain and suffering you'll be preventing simply by keeping your tootsies summer fresh.
I thank you. Other women everywhere thank you. Even the universe at large thanks you. That's how big a deal this truly can be.
The universe, yo. If not for me, do it for the universe.
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