So if you read my post a few days ago about my love of reality TV or happen to stumble upon my Twitter feed during an episode, you know I'm just a wee bit obsessed about the Bachelor/ette.
I've tried to quit and failed too many times to mention, so now I just give into the madness and embrace it as best I can. Much to my husband's immense dismay.
Once Chris' season ended a few months back I was almost positive that they'd choose Kaitlyn as the next star of the franchise. But once they announced that both Britt and Kaitlyn would be vying for the title I felt more than a little queasy at the prospect of the whole thing.
Sure, the show is all about pitting 25 men - most of them not actually there 'for the right reasons' - against each other as they vie for the heart of one woman. She calls the shots, she alone decides who stays or goes, and it's all about her and her quest/journey for the six weeks or so the producers give her to find her soul mate amongst this rag tag group of dudes with strikingly strange occupations.
But wait! Not so fast! Sure, all that will come, but first we're going to turn the tables on you and pick not one but TWO former contestants and let their 25 potential suitors (I suppose 24 is more accurate since Drunkey McRaperson got the boot) decide which one of them gets to stay and actually see this whole thing through.
Bastards. You ABC folks are dastardly for arriving at this horrid premise.
I mean really. Like the process isn't surreal and strange enough, now you go and take their power away, the one thing they really had going for them, right from the get go? Ugh.
So yes, the men voted, by way of placing their flowers into a wooden rose coffin directly below the portrait of the woman they chose. And thus, she with the dozen or more red roses to her name would become the new Bachelorette.
And the other? She'd be filmed driving away in a fancy car, sobbing incoherently to the point where, frankly, I'm surprised she wasn't subtitled.
Now that phase one of the madness is complete and Kaitlyn is the Bachelorette for realz, the games can well and truly begin.
Shawn (Sean?) gets the first impression rose, aka the kiss of death. But I like him, so fingers crossed that he doesn't morph into a giant douchecanoe as the weeks go by. Sadly most tend to do just that. Sigh. Please don't be that guy. Please.
Then the piece de resistance - the clips of what's coming up on 'the most dramatic season of the Bachelorette'. I practically salivate when I hear those words. Not because they're true, necessarily (because really, EVERY season can't be the most dramatic) but because I know I'm in for a four minute and 23 second roller coaster ride of primo editing, the likes of which are rarely, if ever, seen elsewhere on television. This is where the dramaz comes in. The tears, the regret, the 'what have I done?'s, the 'I don't know if I can do this's...basically all the good shit that's still to come. Most of it taken completely out of context, then packaged up to make it look much more tantalizing than it could ever be in 'real life' - even the televised version thereof.
But imagine my great surprise when Nick - Nick from Andi's season, the creeper of creepers - shows up in my delicious highlight reel. WTF is he doing there? And WHY IS SHE KISSING HIM?
Wrong. So wrong. Every kind of wrong. Looks like he'll be around for a while, too. Oh Kaitlyn, sweet, funny Kaitlyn, I really really really really hope that you just had to get him out of your system for whatever twisted reason and he soon becomes as distant a memory as a bad fart.
Yes, I went there. I felt it necessary. That's how strongly I feel about Nick. And bad farts.
Guess only time (or perhaps Reality Steve) will tell. But since I attempt to avoid spoilers like the plague, I'm going to sit here in my happy bubble of possibility and convince myself that she knows better and won't disappoint me.
Could happen, right?
Looks like Nick's far from the only shocker to come. Right from the get go we know she had sex with someone and was open about it to the other guys. To which I say whatever floats your boat, girl. Enjoy your life. And if any of these guys think you 'owe' them anything at all during this process, they're delusional. Plain and simple.
Looking forward to next week's episode already. In truth, the show is Monday's only redeeming quality. Chat more then!
I've tried to quit and failed too many times to mention, so now I just give into the madness and embrace it as best I can. Much to my husband's immense dismay.
Once Chris' season ended a few months back I was almost positive that they'd choose Kaitlyn as the next star of the franchise. But once they announced that both Britt and Kaitlyn would be vying for the title I felt more than a little queasy at the prospect of the whole thing.
Sure, the show is all about pitting 25 men - most of them not actually there 'for the right reasons' - against each other as they vie for the heart of one woman. She calls the shots, she alone decides who stays or goes, and it's all about her and her quest/journey for the six weeks or so the producers give her to find her soul mate amongst this rag tag group of dudes with strikingly strange occupations.
But wait! Not so fast! Sure, all that will come, but first we're going to turn the tables on you and pick not one but TWO former contestants and let their 25 potential suitors (I suppose 24 is more accurate since Drunkey McRaperson got the boot) decide which one of them gets to stay and actually see this whole thing through.
Bastards. You ABC folks are dastardly for arriving at this horrid premise.
I mean really. Like the process isn't surreal and strange enough, now you go and take their power away, the one thing they really had going for them, right from the get go? Ugh.
So yes, the men voted, by way of placing their flowers into a wooden rose coffin directly below the portrait of the woman they chose. And thus, she with the dozen or more red roses to her name would become the new Bachelorette.
And the other? She'd be filmed driving away in a fancy car, sobbing incoherently to the point where, frankly, I'm surprised she wasn't subtitled.
Now that phase one of the madness is complete and Kaitlyn is the Bachelorette for realz, the games can well and truly begin.
Shawn (Sean?) gets the first impression rose, aka the kiss of death. But I like him, so fingers crossed that he doesn't morph into a giant douchecanoe as the weeks go by. Sadly most tend to do just that. Sigh. Please don't be that guy. Please.
Then the piece de resistance - the clips of what's coming up on 'the most dramatic season of the Bachelorette'. I practically salivate when I hear those words. Not because they're true, necessarily (because really, EVERY season can't be the most dramatic) but because I know I'm in for a four minute and 23 second roller coaster ride of primo editing, the likes of which are rarely, if ever, seen elsewhere on television. This is where the dramaz comes in. The tears, the regret, the 'what have I done?'s, the 'I don't know if I can do this's...basically all the good shit that's still to come. Most of it taken completely out of context, then packaged up to make it look much more tantalizing than it could ever be in 'real life' - even the televised version thereof.
But imagine my great surprise when Nick - Nick from Andi's season, the creeper of creepers - shows up in my delicious highlight reel. WTF is he doing there? And WHY IS SHE KISSING HIM?
Wrong. So wrong. Every kind of wrong. Looks like he'll be around for a while, too. Oh Kaitlyn, sweet, funny Kaitlyn, I really really really really hope that you just had to get him out of your system for whatever twisted reason and he soon becomes as distant a memory as a bad fart.
Yes, I went there. I felt it necessary. That's how strongly I feel about Nick. And bad farts.
Guess only time (or perhaps Reality Steve) will tell. But since I attempt to avoid spoilers like the plague, I'm going to sit here in my happy bubble of possibility and convince myself that she knows better and won't disappoint me.
Could happen, right?
Looks like Nick's far from the only shocker to come. Right from the get go we know she had sex with someone and was open about it to the other guys. To which I say whatever floats your boat, girl. Enjoy your life. And if any of these guys think you 'owe' them anything at all during this process, they're delusional. Plain and simple.
Looking forward to next week's episode already. In truth, the show is Monday's only redeeming quality. Chat more then!
Posts
0 comments